Ouch. That first post was a bit coarse. Indeed, I think I might have stated, or meant to at least, that I just wanted to get started. The eagerness continues today, though I do intend to edit what I have written this time. I plan on updating the look of this thing (giving it a logo and good stuff like that), so that it won’t look like the generic eyesore that it currently rests as. But it’s about the content right? That is the thing that keeps one interested, but the look is the initial catch. Without further wasting time, I’d like to introduce myself. As a heads up, not to deceive anyone I’ll be using my middle name. It’s just this weird paranoia I have with the internet.
I, am Grant. I am originally from a less than ideal town in Michigan known as Westland. Although the first 10 years were more or less spent in a magical place (sarcasm) called Inkster, I refer to Westland as “home”. *shakes head* Oh, something that must be said about my writing. Just in case I’m not conveying it how I hope to, I am writing in a conversational manner. Well, at least that’s what I think I’m doing anyways. As I might have previously mentioned, I have problems with B.E.D (Binge Eating Disorder), anxiety of a couple different varieties, Bipolar II disorder, and (internet) porn addiction. That last one is controversial in a couple of ways, and I’ll eventually talk about it. I am currently unemployed, not in school and I don’t know… I have two cats (Merida and Henrii), I absolutely adore Halloween (and related “weird” things), and I enjoy various forms of electronic music, metal, punk, and movie scores. I have a partner of 6.5 years and no friends. Surely, one platonic friend right? Nope. A close acquaintance? Fraid not.
I do attend college, but due to certain circumstances I had to sit out the summer semester. As I write this I can’t help but think to myself how much easier this might be to handwrite a rough draft first. Remember that? I feel like people who are my age (29) and older will. Before the internet was in full bloom we had to write our papers. By high school we were to a point where it was about 50/50. Rough draft by hand and then the final typed up and printed out. Fun fact. As a bit of a sentimentalist, I kind of prefer writing by hand anyways. I feel like the pen is an extension of me- yadda-yadda-yadda.
What I’m trying to do with this entry is give a sense of where I am now. I plan to more closely examine things from my past and things that come up in general. For instance, there is a voice in my head telling me that I am foolish for even trying to reach out and share my life with people. That this is a pointless and stale existence that no one could care about. See, ugly thoughts like this are a huge motivation slayer. But then the angel on the other shoulder politely suggests, that maybe that’s not true. Maybe I can help others in this attempt to purge old thoughts and feelings to page? I’ve got A LOT to work with. I don’t know that I’ve ever really effectively dealt with the nasty things that happened in the past.
Back to informing about myself. When I am going to class, I am going for a BA in… wait for it… psychology. Yes people, psychology. I wanted to, and some part of me still does obviously, to offer whatever help I can to people with similar issues. I’m almost completely through the core classes of both my Major and my human sexuality minor. After that, I’ll essentially only be taking electives for the next 3-4 semesters (I’m moving slowly, because I can handle about three classes at most). The positive thing, I can say to offset that last comment is that I’m proud of myself for knowing my boundaries. Three classes is about the very highest I can go, comfortably at least. Now, the question can be asked: if I’m well enough to go to class, why not work? Structure mostly. Well, structure and people. So school, unlike the average job, is predictable. Predictable with just enough room for creativity. I like the routine as it’s a path that’s carved out for me, but how I do it is MY choice. With that in mind, a lot of jobs are not that flexible, or even have that stable of a routine. Or, at least none that I have encountered.
That’s a pretty decent description of myself and where I’m at now. I’d like to tell you to stay tuned for the topic of the next post, but really, I’m making an effort to start this up and start it off right. And although I might not be the most organized person overall I can be pretty thorough. I’ve started a list of different topics, I’m going to start working on a logo etc. I want to create something I’d enjoy looking at, if I was a stranger. So, I’ll get working on that shhhh-tuff.
Bye.
For now.
🙂
Seasons of the Which 