Insert Cliche Greeting____________.

*Please excuse this generic look, it’s not my style and is only temporary*

So, this, whenever this is, is the first of what I hope to be something good. What this will be is a little crypt that one may visit at their leisure. A place to for me to bury and exhume thoughts as I please. I, as many people out there do, suffer from Bipolar II disorder. Similarly with these people I have afflicting comorbidities (co occurring disorders). My specifics: BED (Binge Eating Disorder), Anxiety, and all around body dysmorphia. To be clear, I’m not saying that bipolar = those specific additions, just that most disorders have a tendency to come in pairs and/or clusters. I’m doing this for a few reasons, most of which involve knowledge and relief. I want to inform whoever might be so kind as to read this as to what/who I am and what/how I feel. I want to give some idea as to what someone with the listed disorders might think and feel. Mental disorders are greatly stigmatized and under, inadequately, and mis represented in our culture. I’ve seen/heard it a couple of times, that since the problems are invisible comparably to physical wounds, they are often criticized and neglected by others. For instance, you wouldn’t tell someone with a broken leg to “walk it off”. If you did… you’d kind of look like an a-hole yeah? More often than not, this is not the case with mental/mood disorders. If we can’t witness the pain that that person is going through we can’t allow ourselves to give them a “pass”. I unintentionally come off as a massive asshole sometimes. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s something that happens. The perfect example of this is during the holidays when I’m with my partner and his family. I have never really known a family, let alone a rather large family with so many children. Simple as that. I’m exposed to all sorts of triggers around the holidays though. Late nights, copious amounts of unhealthy foods, and strenuous social anxiety. Hey, I get it, the holidays are “a lot” for everyone, but listen. For me, and people similar to me, we don’t have that poker face so readily available to us. Our candle is burning down from the moment we start connecting with people. Our social batteries can be shorter-lived than most. Those asshole moments you might get from us are the result of dysregulation. It’s as embarrassing to us as it is upsetting for the rest of the people involved. It’s important to know and stick to yourself. As selfish as it may feel, it’s better than coming off as “rude” or “moody”. This whole first entry was supposed to be an organized introduction into my hopes for this blog. Did I succeed? Lol. I hope this reaches the people I know, and the people out there who might need it. People out there looking for common hoods, people looking for insight into what their friend or family might be dealing with. I want to try and replace the wrong/missing knowledge people hold about the disorders that I have. BUT I have to state very sternly that all individuals are different. Just as individuals of one race have many commonalities, they have just as many differences. Same thing applies. I will not claim that my experience equals that of another. There may be some overlap, might not. By talking about my life, and the way I perceive things, I hope to work somethings out and be informative. There, how’s that for a mission statement?